Let’s Eat Cheescake and See If I Die

Let's Eat Cheesecake...

Let’s Eat Cheesecake…

Let’s Eat Cheescake and See If I Die

That’s a quote from Patrick earlier this year when he was really ill and I got up every morning half-expecting to find a corpse (his) in the workshop. When I thought about it, because I was trying to take my mind off planning his funeral, I realised that he’s fundamentally braver than me.

It’s an attitude: I have this thing I want to do; the worst that can happen is that doing it will kill me. I’m going to do it anyway. Wanna watch and see what happens?

That’s the brave bit – inviting people to watch what happens.

So, you’ve probably guessed, this is my cheesecake moment.

I’ve been building up CHOMP (Carla’s Huge Online Machine for Publishing) for a while now and I have arrived at a state of readiness. Setting myself a deadline is, of course, scary…and exhausting…and I’m going to do it anyway because Cheesecake beckons.

Here’s the plan:


Set a publication date – 1st May

Get the book cover designed.

Ask people to be reviewers – hey, wanna be a reviewer?

Send them review copies – see, you get the book for free!


Set up the Book Page and Author Page on Amazon.

Harass the reviewers to make sure they have read the damn thing and will be ready for Day One.


Launch the book on 1st May with lots of reviews on Day One.

That’s a straightforward list and considering what else is going on in life, I have no idea if I can do it…

I already have a cover but it’s not fantastc so I’ve put together a design brief and I’m sending that out to a few people.ย  If I don’t get what I like from that then I might try Fiverr or another of the design sites.

I have a list of about 70 people to ask to be reviewers – you’re probably on that list but feel free to volunteer! Did I mention you get a copy of the book?

The idea is that on Publication Day the Reviewers leap online and leave Amazon reviews so that the book looks like a best-seller – which is kind of a “fake it till you make it” approach but is also good business sense and basic marketing.

In the meantime, I’ll be putting together the Author Page and Book Page. and maybe approaching Pimpbooks or one of those services to help with marketing.

All I really want to do is write stories. Whine. Whinge. Instead I have to Eat the Cheesecake and Take the Consequences!!

Will Billinghurst do it? Will the Universe conspire to help or hinder her? Will anyone like her stories? Is Art really something people want or just something Billinghurst does to stop her misbehaving on the commute?

Watch this space. ๐Ÿ™‚